While Jason was gone Scarlett and I had absolutely none of the typical island freak out stuff happen, no bugs, no black outs, no water issues. It was like the planets aligned and for days we were in a bubble. No pet sized bugs being the most important, you need back up for puppy sized spiders and scorpions, and don't get me started on the cockroaches that have social security numbers around here. It was awesome. It was intimidating to be on this island alone with my girl, but we did well, really well. I even found Big Kmart Target (which is what we have to call it for Scarlett, what a snob, right?) by going over the mountain, which I considered a huge win.
The morning that Jason came home Scarlett and I were practically attacked by the most timid, frightened, freaked out, fast, ugly, chronic hiding, hockey puck sized spider outside in it's own environment. This fucker was determined to not scare us, oh no, not today, I jumped like a fool, screamed, Scarlett laughed.
Sapphire Beach, Scarlett and I were invited to Sapphire beach for a "girls day" with my neighbor Kris, Scarlett was the only child. Once again, children are like fly fishin', if you're the only one doing it amongst other regular fishers, someone is going to feel annoyed or at least awkward, and their fishing will be ruined. All the ladies were wonderful about us joining them, but we didn't stay long, Scar melted down, and I ran like the wind. The beach was beautiful. It was very rocky, which made it an obvious for snorkelers, and there were tons out there. I think watching people snorkel is creepy, it is like a bunch of lifeless bodies floating around, but perfect place to dump a "floater", I possibly watched too many Soprano episodes. The view was ridiculous and there are so many colors in the ocean. It was hot, and the no-see-ums, or as my friend Stef calls them "see-me-nots" (she's so romantic) were in full force, and we got eaten alive, especially Scarlett. Sapphire is an amazing view though, but not a really child friendly beach.
Garbage Dump Scare
So, I vowed never to take the garbage to the garbage dump on day 5 of being here on the island. Words are unable to describe what these "dumps" are like. Number one, they are huge, construction site sized dumpsters, the kind you get dropped off at a fire site or whole house renovation. There can be anywhere from one to three of these, depending on how much room there is at the site. Each of the dumpsters have a cursive written spray painted message that is always the same "Robots Bleed". There is garbage everywhere, at this point I am certain that basketball is not practiced on island, and if it is, it likely looks more like volleyball, people miss, big time. Of course, when you toss your bag of garbage out of a moving car while attempting to stay on a mountain, well, their not that bad. There are chickens roaming freely, dogs, and the occasional lizard. There is glass everywhere. The smell is hideous.
Since Jason has been gone, he is in charge of garbage, and we live in 85 degree weather, I had to bite the bullet, and haul it up the stairs, into the car, and to the dump, with a toddler. First trip went awesome. I just pulled in like I was a race car driver and that was "the pit", hopped out of the car, hurled the garbage bags in the dumpster that is as tall as I am, and took off. I felt like a real bad ass.
Ran to get the mail, amazon sent a few new dresses for Scarlett in a huge box. No way was I going to let this box rule my garbage freedom, so I took all the dresses out and decided to hit the dump one last time. Why not? I was awesome already, might as well double down. So I didn't notice that someone had set up a little sale area at the dump, you know Louis Vuitton purses, alligator shoes, your basics.
I was much to focused on getting my box in the dump and going on with my awesomeness. So I grabbed the box, popped the door open, oh yeah, did I forget to tell you that I was only wearing my bathing suit? Yeah, I was too busy trying to get Scarlett in the car at Magens Bay to put my cover-up back on, I was practically naked. That is when he jumped out from the shade of the dumpster, where he'd been resting and talking on the phone. That's when I screamed and threw the box at him, HARD, and jumped back in the car. He, with his arm held out, wailing "It's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry I scared you", me shaken to the core "It's okay, I'm sorry I threw my garbage", he, after picking up my garbage asking "are you okay?", me saying "I'm so sorry" and taking off as fast as I possible could. I. was. scared. But, not as scared as he was. I freaked the shit out of this poor merchant man. Who would expect someone to jump out from behind a dumpster? a chicken? sure.
For the next two hours I had to explain to Scarlett why Momma got scared, why I threw the box at someone, and why this man was not a danger to me, and that he didn't want to steal her.
Jason came home and water started spewing out our water pump. When we called of course there was no way they would come out, it was after 5:00 after all, so thanks to our neighbors and Jason's ingenuity we got it up and going so we'd have water for the night.
Parents arrived! OH. MY. GOD. To say that Jason and I needed some time off from our little sparkler would be the understatement of the century, I mean, they don't tell you about the "threes" in the brochure, they just don't. Same way I never knew that this island had scorpions and tarantulas the twenty times I came here, it's bad for business. They know you'd never sign up for this shit, not unless you're a cutter or some other type of masochist. This is seriously flogging. Having a three year old has got to be something like having a really strong drug addiction, the highs are really high, the lows are downright ugly, and in the end, all that matters is the drug. When they got off the plane everything felt easier, Scarlett loves them like nothing I've ever seen, so do we. They have been such a part of our lives, such a relief, such teachers to us. They tell stories, they sing, they play, and they let us see parenting in a different light, they remind us that this is fun. This is exciting. This is something that is not a job, but an honor. I love their style. We have had so many laughs, great food, and eye opening lessons about Scarlett, they let us see her though their eyes, and she is truly amazing. She blossoms every single time they are around her.
With them came a fountain and light show for the pool. Need I say more? Between the bubble maker and this cool fountain and light show I have turned our sweet little villa into Vegas.
We have decided to let Scarlett got to school this year. Cue TOTAL FREAKOUT. We toured the two private schools on the island. Antilles and The Montessori. Private School is the only option on island for us. I'll write a lot more about this subject later, so much to think about.
July 4th doesn't exactly have the same flare here as it does in the states. However, carnival has lots of flare. St. John has their "Carnival" on the 4th, so I was thrilled to see it, and enjoy some fireworks. I. LOVE. FIREWORKS. So right when I woke up I decided that we should just ferry our car over, enjoy carnival, the fireworks, spend the night, and enjoy the island all day the next day. I couldn't wait to show my parents Cinnamon Bay. I quickly hopped on Expedia to see if I could land a room. There was one. $500. Fine, I grabbed it. It said that there was a King sized bed and a pull out. Sleeps 4 adults and 1 child. SOLD. So we all packed our bags, hopped in the car, drove onto the ferry, and we were on our way. I couldn't wait. We arrived in no time, and parked the car. IT WAS HOT. There was absolute no breeze. Nothing. We watched a ton of the parade, which was dancers of all ages, steel drums, baton twirlers, flippers, and floats of all levels of detail and effort.
The "ass" is so celebrated here, women love their bodies, all shapes and sizes, and their costumes reflect such love. I immediately felt like I had too much clothing on, since I was wearing a very conservative spaghetti strapped sun dress, I needed pasties, feathers, and sparkles just to feel normal.
We had one hot baby, two hot parents, and two really hot grandparents, we decided to hit the beach, which was the moment I realized that I left Scarlett's bathing suit at home. Son-of-a-bitch. Then getting to the beach felt something like a salmon swimming upstream though armpits and sweaty assholes. We got there, grabbed a bite to eat, let Scarlett swim in her dress, and decided to head back to the hotel, check in, have a cold shower, let Scarlett run a bit, and then gear up for fireworks.
When we got to the hotel I felt like we'd been walking for 40 days and nights in the desert. There was a cold water machine in the lobby that looked like a beacon in the night. THANK GOD. Jason headed to check us in. The first lady was nice, well, I thought she was being nice. She was shmoozing with Scarlett about how old she was. Then, she laid the hammer down. Apparently this hotel did not ALLOW children under five years old. Now, this is a first. I've heard no kids, I've heard no kids under 12, but five?
Now, keep in mind, this is CARNIVAL, the busiest weekend on the island that I know of. There was only one room on expedia when I booked it that morning. It was 5 o'clock, and the last ferry for cars left at 6:00, and our car was in the middle of Carnival where we could not get to it. Well, the lady said that she'd talk to the general manager about the situation, off she went. We are standing there possible stuck without a room, no ferry, and a child. The lady saunters out and explains that they will not be making an exception. I'm pissed. Jason is irate. My mom is furious. Scarlett is questioning wildly why we cannot go to our room, and Poppy was still dying of heat. So they sent us out into the world with nothing. Not a room on the island for us. We rushed back like crazy people to get our car to hopefully be able to free it from carnival goers, floats, and festivities. The seas parted. We were able to get it out, rush to the ferry, and head back to our island.
When we all poured ourselves into the house, tired, hot, exhausted, we were thankful to be home. Thankful to get a shower and a light dinner, I no longer cared about fireworks, but about being cool and comfy. And that my friends is when Jason heard the water pump start shooting water out again.
No water for 24 hours.
Gotta love island life.
