Jason's head looks like a 11 year old got a hold of a lawn mower (no offense to 11 year olds).
Rule #1, it is not as easy as Norelco says it is on their box...
Rule #2, Don't start on the lowest setting.
Rule #3, "fade" is not something to "wing".
Rule #4 & #5, Yelling "OH", and laughing uncontrollably is not what the "client" wants to hear.
Yes, I "attempted" to be Jason's stylist.... Rather than go through the hassle of finding a new place and taking the time to go get a cut, I just decided to buy a Norelco and go to it. Let's just say, I've got some "room for growth"... and let's just be clear, Jason will be wearing a hat for a few grow out days. Luckily his hair doesn't grow on "Island time"...
We need more water already... I'm thinking that maybe we should reuse pool towels, and possibly not wear 3 outfits a day, or six in Scarlett's case, since it's a few hundred bucks a pop every time they drop off 3,000 gallons. Cisterns are cool in the way that it cuts out the middle man, but, I apparently outrun the rain water wise. My neighbors almost never have to "buy" water. I just ordered "5 boxes of ziti", maybe it'll last more than 5 minutes.
I can't believe the stars here.
I cannot believe this is my life, I can't. I keep almost pinching myself and then realizing, why the hell would I do that? There are many that would argue for or against my deserving this life, but really, I know I do. It may have taken me over thirty years to realize that I had the keys, and this life is mine to drive, and then to get in the drivers seat, but I did, and I am, and now look, I am where I want to be, and that is living.
Saturday morning we checked out Hull Bay, a local beach just ten minutes from our home, it was silent, just a few fisherman, two harmless rum drinkers, one that was a talker, and The Yanas. We had lunch at a open air bar restaurant, the island born and raised server, Lily, was sweet and informative, and told us that coconut oil will keep away no-see-ums and mosquitos. COCONUT OIL? The one thing I didn't try, the one thing I usually try one EVERYTHING. Damn it. She also told us that every Sunday they have music and Brisket... YES!
We found a "Farmers Market" finally. A card table, a few heads of cabbage, and a few bottles of what looked like essential oils, or they could have been hot sauce. The guy tending it looked like he was forced there for a time out. We skipped it by blinking. We'll check out the other ones... If I don't find some arugula on this island soon, I am going to have to go into full gardener mode.
Sunday night we went to Havensight Marina, surrounded by millions of dollars in Yachts, we watched Frozen oceanside. It is a beautiful outside shopping area with stores like Coach and Louis Vuitton. They have restaurants and froyo. Oh FUCK, I said "froyo", I am a yuppie. There were people like us, with small children, that had migrated here from cold big cities. It was nice to meet people that were like us. Scarlett acted out the movie in front of a hundred people, and Jason and I sat there, laughing, drinking a beer, and basked in our choices. She is something, I've never met someone I like more. She is beautiful, fierce, funny, and particular, all the qualities I love in a human.
Memorial Day we played in the pool, ate, and relaxed. Jason worked a while, and I wrote. We are starting to get in a groove here.
It seems like every five minutes I am coming to an understanding of why someone left my life, why something didn't work out the way I wanted it to, and why, even though I tried really hard, why my plan was not to be. If I would have gotten what I wanted a million times, I could not be living my life, the one that is my reality today. It's strange really, the webs we think we are weaving, and the ones that are actually being weaved. All the times I was disappointed in someone or something, it was just my lack of patience, my lack of faith in what was to come.
The SCORPION SAGA. We are on an island, every plant looks like something out of Horton Hears a Who, and the animals are even more odd. The cockroaches are HUGE with wings, there are lizards big and small, really big, and really small. There are mosquitos that oddly seem like they are members of MENSA, between Jason and my IQ, we are not able to outsmart these fuckers. Next step, technology, we've ordered a "mosquito trap", we are also embracing history by bringing in a mosquito net for our bed. Two nights ago I decided to dust the floor free of my hair in my bathroom with a piece of toilet paper, RIGHT THERE... A SCORPION. He rushed quickly between the baseboard and the tile, he's fast. Scorpions are seriously ugly creatures, and though this guy is just about an inch long, he scares the shit out of me. After about an hour of rooting and spraying lysol in the baseboard crack, we still could not find him, and I am pretty sure Jason thought I was hallucinating. Day two... I cleaned every floor desperately, called Lionel the exterminator, my new BFF, he calmed me down, but not all the way... Still nothing. It wasn't until nightfall that that little cocky bastard went off his guard. He obviously underestimated my neurosis.... I walked into the bathroom, and there is his ass sticking out of that baseboard, like he was getting paid to do it... I grab my hair cutting scissors, and briefly think to myself I shouldn't own these, just in case I am ever inspired to use them on myself, and flick him out... IT WAS HIM, DEAD, or so I thought... Scarlett sleeping just feet away in our bed.. I whisper yell to Jason down stairs... "I found the scorpion, he's dead, we got him"... Jason saunters upstairs while I go back to bask in his deadness. ALL OF A SUDDEN, he comes to, and shoots under the baseboard again... NOOOO.... He's gone. Jason seriously thinks I'm loosing it... I hand him an emery board, "GET HIM, He's under there" I whisper scream. He flips him out on the floor... and SPLAT. He's gone. Flushed... and we celebrate with a Mango beer out on the deck... I'm in a weird episode of animal planet.
So we've been here a month.. A MONTH in The Virgin Islands. Holy Shit.
